CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

The Drawing

August 25th—I am now settled at home again at Staningley. I am excited for the spring to come again, with the hope of returning to London, and perhaps seeing Mr Huntingdon. He is still always in my thoughts and in my dreams. My aunt must be wrong, I know that he has goodness in him. I will save him from temptation and evil!

Today is the first of September, and my uncle has told me that he has invited some gentlemen to come hunting at Staningley. When he first said Mr Wilmot and Mr Boarham were coming, I was quite disappointed, but then I heard that Mr Huntingdon was coming, as well! My aunt was upset that he was coming, but my uncle laughed at her disapproval. He had invited Huntingdon and his friend, Lord Lowborough, before we left London. I cannot express my joy. They are not coming till the middle of the month, however. We are to have two lady visitors, as well. Mr Wilmot is to bring his niece, Annabella, and her cousin, Milicent. I shall be glad to have Milicent here; she is a sweet, good girl, and I wish I were more like her. My aunt is quite content that Annabella will be coming, to distract Mr Huntingdon's attention.

19th—The guests have come. They came the day before yesterday. The gentlemen have all gone out hunting, and the ladies are with my aunt. I am in the library, for I am very unhappy, and want to be alone.

On the day of their arrival, I sat at the window waiting for Mr Huntingdon to arrive. They all came before him, and I was quite disappointed. Before his arrival, I was not pleased to meet Mr Boarham, who believed that I had, perhaps, changed my opinion, and would agree to marry him. He was wrong. Mr Huntingdon did finally arrive, however, and greeted me with excitement in his eyes.

After dinner, on the evening of their arrival, Mr Huntingdon was looking through my drawings, and unfortunately found one of himself. I was quite embarrassed that he had found it, but he looked rather pleased with himself.

"This is better than all!" he exclaimed, and refused to return the drawing.

He sat in silence for the next few minutes, with a smile on his face. Then, he stood up and walked over to sit next to Annabella Wilmot, who seemed quite interested in Lord Lowborough. He sat next to Annabella for the rest of the evening.

"So then!" I thought, "he dislikes me because he knows I love him."

I was so upset I did not know what to do. Everyone soon went to bed, as they had traveled all day, and were rather tired. Mr Huntingdon waited for me to come out of the sitting room, however.

"Helen, why are you in such a hurry to leave me," he asked, as I walked by, greeting him coldly. "You don't hate me, you know."

"Yes, I do—at this moment."

"Not you! It is Annabella Wilmot you hate, not me."

"Please let me go," I cried, as he held my hands in his.

"Go then," he said, but then put his arm around my neck and kissed me.

I pulled away and angrily ran to my room. He never would have kissed me if he had not seen that drawing! I could not sleep that night, full of anger and embarrassment. The next morning, however, I was quite friendly to everyone, aside from Mr Huntingdon. Soon after breakfast, the gentlemen left to go hunting. I went to the library to paint.

Soon enough, I saw the gentlemen outside, as I looked out the window. After a minute or two, Mr Huntingdon came into the library to greet me.

"What a beautiful girl," he said, of the painting, "I would fall in love with her, if the artist wasn't here with me. Give me the girl I love, and I will be with her forever, through life and death!"

After a moment of silence, he asked if I had any more drawings of him.

"No!" I exclaimed, shocked and embarrassed. But he saw my drawings on the table, and looked through them quickly, although I was quite upset, and told him he must not. He soon found another drawing of himself, and admired it with a smile. I demanded that he return it and he soon gave me the paper, after which I threw it into the fire.

He looked astonished, and stopped laughing, and calmly spoke, "I'll go hunting now," and he left.

Later in the afternoon, I took Milicent and Annabella on a walk around the park. The gentlemen soon came to greet us. The others walked on, but Mr Huntingdon walked between Annabella and I, speaking only to Annabella. Soon after, he turned to me, and whispered—

"Helen, why did you burn my picture?"

"Because, I wished to destroy it," I answered.

"Oh, very good! If you don't value me, I must turn to somebody that will."

I thought he was only joking, but he immediately turned to Annabella Wilmot, and has not spoken a kind word to me since then, during all that evening, and all the next day, and the next, and the next, and all this morning (the 22nd).

My aunt has noticed the change in his behaviour and is quite content. Miss Wilmot has seen it, too, and feels that she has succeeded.

He thinks I dislike him. I have lost him forever, and Annabella may win him, and indeed succeed. She does not love him, though. She thinks only of herself. She has been quite interested in Lord Lowborough the entire visit, and while she is entertained with Mr Huntingdon, she always returns to Lord Lowborough.

Mr Huntingdon sees how I suffer because he gives another woman his attention. He never loved me, or he would not have forgotten me so easily. Oh, why can't I hate him? I must stop loving him! I wish the guests were gone!

(end of section)